top of page
Search

Rees-Mogg breaks into oligarch mansion to fit prepayment meter



The Conservative party has suspended the use of court warrants to force entry into yachts and mansions to fit prepayment meters. An undercover investigation by the Times appears to show a group of senior Tory MPs banging on the door of a Mayfair building before a team of locksmiths and accountants force their way inside.


Vladimir Lobamolotov, a single parent oil trader with close ties to the Kremlin, was too frightened to open his door. Once entry had been gained, the accountants connected his bank account to a direct payment meter.


‘I was terrified,’ said Mr Lobamolotov. ‘I said I was having difficulty keeping up my payments to the party, but they had no sympathy. They said if I didn’t pay, I would have no power.’


The Conservative party treasurer said he had absolutely no idea his MPs were breaking into the homes of vulnerable billionaires and has suspended the practice, focusing instead on helping them consolidate their bungs into a more manageable tariff.



image from pixabay



First published 8 Feb 2023


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?

















King's speech to feature unprecedented honesty

Panic is rising in Westminster as it has become clear that the forthcoming King's speech will break with tradition and tell it how it is.


The monarch is normally expected to read out a text which has been agreed beforehand by civil servants and the royal staff.


But this year Charles has let it be known that he wants to deliver a more truthful assessment of the state of politics in his Kingdom.


A leaked excerpt from the speech reads:


'I wish to apologise to you, my subjects, that my governments, over the past few years, have fallen short of the standard expected by the British people. You deserve better. The highest positions of power in the country have been occupied by fools, corrupt chancers, narcissists and foreign agents. And those were the sane ones.'


Keir Starmer is reported to be asking for political asylum in China.


And Donald Trump has posted that he wants to Make England Great Again, or 'MEGA'. But not, he emphasised, by regaining its colonies in America. Maybe by invading Ireland, where they mostly speak English, so it would just be like Russia's special military operation in Ukraine.



Image credit: perchance.org

bottom of page