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Chris Mason trademarks inquisitive expression and lean


BBC Political correspondent Chris Mason has trademarked the inquisitive, eager, yet slightly plaintive and vulnerable stare, that he always adopts after asking a politician a question, it has been confirmed today. 


The trademark will give Mason exclusive rights to use his expression, both with or without a microphone extended into politicians' faces. The trademark is also thought to cover all angles of Mason leaning forward, right through to the horizontal position, and even beyond. 


'It's about time Chris protected his intellectual property and brand identity', said a source thought to be close to Mason. 'In the last few days alone, we've seen hundreds of poor reproductions of Chris's post-question expression and somewhat passive-aggressive stance flooding the Downing Street area from other political correspondents.'


The trademark is thought to cover a number of additional expressions, notably Mason's faux-conspiratorial backwards look and whisper to camera as a politician walks straight past without stopping.


Go-to phrases such and 'One thing is clear...' are also said to be included in the trademark package, however to the relief of Rigby, Coates, Peston and others , 'sources close to the PM...' is expected to remain available for wider use.  


A series of Mason-inspired products are expected to be released onto the market soon, including a AI-powered device that automatically generates provocative and annoying speculative enquiries with at least three questions wrapped up in them, along with a Chris Mason alarm clock that exclusively reveals that 'My understanding is that the sun will rise in the East today' each morning.  




Trump confirms that the most beautiful photograph ever


that Italian leader Merloni begged be taken of them together was taken on board the Flying Dutchman, crewed by unicorns,  on 19th June as they sailed through the Strait of Hormuz, carrying a cargo of invisible moonbeams to Mars.


The veracity of this assertion has been immediately and  irrefutably confirmed by the US president's description of it as 'FACT', evidence which as been totally accepted by the world's entire news media.



Sky News Helicopter Cheaper Than Train Fare


Critics of Sky News's decision follow Andy Burnham's so-called "coronation procession" from Manchester to London on the West Coast Main Line with a helicopter have backed down after the channel pointed out that chartering the rotor-craft cost less than buying two walk-up singles for the 10.55 departure from Manchester Piccadilly. 


"Of course we wanted to be on the train," said correspondent Bea Ching. "We felt the public needed to know important things: is he a latte or cappuccino PM in waiting, can he do the Sudoku before the inevitable wait at Crewe? Problem was, we got to the Avanti Desk and they wanted so much for an on-the-day first class ticket that we just thought 'sod it' and dangled the camera out a helicopter window instead. It felt a bit like Treasure Hunt, with Beth Rigby as Wincey Willis back in the studio."


The channel has promised that further coverage of the change in Labour Leader will be more cost-effective, telling us, "We've contacted Martin Lewis, and he's said if we buy the tickets on a full moon in a month with five Saturdays, promise to spin round three times at Watford Junction, and only have the Rich Tea biscuits, we can save over three quid on the return journey when Andy goes back to Manchester on Friday to resign as Mayor."



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