Uncle Quentin was seen in Smuggler’s Cove, without a mask,’ exclaimed Julian.
‘What a frightful bore,’ said George. ‘Doesn’t he know that Timmy has an undying medical condition? He keeps eating poisoned food’.
They said it couldn’t be done. A new NewsBiscuit annual. Or maybe it was ‘shouldn’t’. That’s right, it shouldn’t be done. In fact, there was a petition. Maybe a march or two? Now that I think about it, there was a Court Order. People chaining themselves to railings. The threat of a military coup.
But we said to hell with them. We were going to publish. Regardless of the suffering and derisory sales. If we could get Brexit done, how hard would it be to write a NewsBiscuit book?
BTW how’s the Brexit thing going?
From the same team that brought you 'Fifteen Years of Typos' comes an extensive anthology of twelve months of fake news from the UKs original fake news site, Newsbiscuit. Over 800 carefully curated comedy fake news articles and more than 700 one-line news gags all together in one volume written by some of the funniest and most creative comedy writers known to work for free.
Articles drawn from September 2020 until August 2021, approximately mirroring events in the real world, include:
Bloke in pub to join Cabinet
NATO to tut and shake their heads at Russia
Second wave of press conferences to hit the UK
National Fiasco Memorial built in the wrong place
Coronavirus will be with us for between two years and forever, say scientists
Biden selects Kamala Harris to be his running-mate and carer
Government finally admits it has 'no idea' why we have daylight saving time
and hundreds more
Five Go Dobbing in the Neighbours makes a great gift for friends and to yourself
The fallout from Britain's political car crash is being discussed across the globe, and in the light of a shock new development, nowhere more keenly than around the windswept alfresco dining table at Southfork Ranch in Texas.
In a sensational move, Sue Ellen Ewing has told reporters she will be throwing her 10-gallon Stetson into the ring and is confident of garnering enough support among parliamentary party. "In fact, more than enough" to win her the keys to No.10 in the forthcoming Tory leadership election.
Speaking as she left the weekly Oil Baron's Ball she said: 'Why, shucks. This ole race is already run and won. Put your shirts and Kalvin Kleins on me boys.'
And it just might come to pass, because on hearing the news, online bookmaker Paddy Power, has now installed the 60s something glamour gal as front-runner.
However, some members of the party are arguing as she is not currently an MP she can't enter the race. But the men in suits, who meet Monday, are believed by many to be contemplating a sensational snap rule change that will allow Sue Ellen to run.
Meanwhile Mrs Ewing's estranged husband, the Machiavellian JR, poured cold water on the idea. 'Now just you tell me this, boy. How in the heck can she do that? She's a drunk, a tramp and an unfit mother. That's what my Daddy said 'fore he died.'
On hearing Mr Ewing's remarks, one unnamed backbencher commented: 'Gosh, actually, you know with a CV like that, I'd say she'd fit right in.'
First published 10 Jul 2022
If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?
 |  |  |  |