Trump slams Shakespeare as 'meaningless word salad and garbage'

In a series of late night posts on the ironically named, Truth Social, President Trump, has turned his phenomenal brain power to William Shakespeare, branding The Bard of Avon as, 'A low IQ guy who wrote meaningless word salad and garbage.'

Commenting on Much Ado About Nothing, Trump wrote, 'Huh, he nailed it with the title.' In another petulant post he asks, 'Who the hell was this Henry guy? Seven plays about him when clearly one would’ve been plenty. He must have been the biggest narcissist in history.' His take on All’s Well That Ends Well was, “I thought that bunch of crap was never gonna end at all.”

However, unsurprisingly the great and the good of British acting have been flocking to Twitter all day to defend the accusations levelled at, as some argue, the world's greatest writer ever.

Paraphrasing Shakespeare, Sir Kenneth Branagh posted online: 'The mind boggles at depth of this man’s total ignorance – what’s more, me think he doth protest too much.' While Dame Judy Dench told reporters, 'I have only one word for Trump. It rhymes with banker.' 

However, whether you love the Bard or hate him - perhaps the last word should go to Shakey himself.

'Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.'

image from grok

'Macbeth' Starmer worrying that Burnham would

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UK border delays as visitors complete essays

Heathrow Airport yesterday declared a major incident at the UK Border following the Home Office confirming that migrants would require A-Level standards of English.

At hastily installed booths for a pilot study, visitors were being given two hours to answer questions on Othello to receive a stamp in their passport and be granted entry to the country. Despite being their native tongue, one holidaymaker from the United States was struggling with the text and questions.

'How does Shakespeare use irony?' They exclaimed while leafing through the text, 'The same way we all do? He just plugs it in and gets the creases out his pants? Did they wear pants in the olden times? Oh I haven't read this since High School. Is it Othello or Iago who's black?'

After the first day, over 97% of those arriving had been returned to their point of departure after failing to meet the expected standard. 'Clearly we're very disappointed," a spokesperson for The Home Office said, 'especially as the worst performing group in this whole exercise were British Citizens returning home. Many failed to identify the symbolic importance of the settings, others couldn't explain the dramatic function of jealousy, and when the flight from Alicante arrived, a worrying number of them tried to eat the book.'

Photo by Kit (formerly ConvertKit) on Unsplash