Stop the small flights!

Due to a bit of instability near their “home” countries, the UK is expecting an influx of desperate poor decision makers into the UK. Starmer’s regime is even laying flights on for these toerags who contribute little to the UK.'

'I bet if you search their social media history, they will be bad mouthing the UK and saying how awful it is. Then suddenly, when reality smacks them in their tax avoiding faces, who’s here to save them?' said one red face.

'They’ll expect to be in fancy hotels as soon as they land; we’ll all be paying for these flights you know, the UK taxpayer. They’ll be going past countries like Monaco on the way here, so why don’t they stay there?'

London Mayor Sadiq Khan promised to provide them with the full Sharia Law treatment, so they didn’t miss home.

Photo by Yuri G. on Unsplash

Britain now under Shakira Law

Due to a misunderstanding of a misspeak of a typo, the whole of the United Kingdom is now under Shakira Law. Some Brits are unclear what that entails because much of the news media is now content to let the lie spread half way around England before the truth has had a chance to get its bellybutton trinket in.

Shakira Law is misunderstood because it sounds very foreign and should therefore be feared by the easily manipulated. It is fiendishly complex and vaguely strict, but parts of it are easier to remember because some of it rhymes. But it is not to be confused with LeAnn Rimes Law which is so different, to some it is almost the same.

Lawyers are struggling to adapt to the changes, but don't give a farage because of billable hours. Clients have been warned to keep a close eye on their legal representation as they could be easily fobbed off with Christina Aguilera Convention, or Rihanna Regulations.

The first rule of Shakira Law is that you do not talk about Shakira Law.

The second rule of Shakira Law is that you DO NOT talk about Shakira Law, but you are allowed to sing about it.

The most important rule is that breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains.

The final rule of Shakira Law is that no one is allowed to tell the truth, but my hips don't lie. Actually, that's a lie. You can lie, but you're only allowed to lie when you're in a duet with Beautiful Liar, Beyoncé. Or Jennifer Lopez.

Shakira Law applies whenever, wherever.

Image: Alejoturola - Pixabay

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