- Titus
- Sep 4, 2025
Noah Thomkinson, now aged six years and four days, was in tears yesterday when an eagerly-anticipated sixth birthday card from his Aunty Angela failed to arrive until he was already three days into his sixth year. He is now demanding that Angela resign from her position as his Aunt, on the grounds that she has no right to remain in the post if she was unable or unwilling to face up to the responsibilities of this position.
When he examined the envelope in which his card arrived, Noah noted that it only bore a second-class stamp, not a first class stamp, which probably accounts for its late delivery. When Noah's parents questioned Angela about this, she explained that she had sought advice from the post office clerk before she posted the card, had been assured that a second-class stamp was all that was required, and that the payment of a substantial additional amount of money for a first-class stamp was not necessary.
Angela subsequently realised that she may well have been incorrectly advised, and that the correct payment should perhaps have been for a first-class stamp. A final, definitive and authoritative verdict on this is currently being sought from Royal Mail, although for reasons of 'family confidentiality' they might not be able to fully reveal all of their findings to the public.
Angela has also written to Noah and apologised for any error she may have made, and it is not clear at this stage how Noah will respond. This is being watched carefully and with bated breath by all the rest of Noah's family, by all of his young friends, the family next door, the rest of the street, other customers in the post office and (as usual, because they are - as ever - desperately short of things to report on) the local press.
Meanwhile, Noah's parents have praised Angela and expressed their 'full confidence' in her as an aunt to Noah.
