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Updated: Jun 21, 2022
Viewing the departure board at his space rocket station Richard Branson’s heart sank as he saw it was delayed. A man stood next to him, said: 'This is typical mate, better make yourself comfortable, and even when it does turn up don’t expect to get a seat, and the buffet will probably be shut for your leg of the journey too'.
Branson sat on the cold metal bench and stared listlessly at the board. He looked around for a reliable source of information about the cause of the delay but there were just some pigeons. His stomach rumbled. He overheard a man on the next bench phoning a friend to say he’d be late because Virgin can’t get from Reading to Coventry on time.
The friend replied that Virgin Trains stopped operating in 2019, but there were lots of passengers still standing at stations who hadn’t realised yet and thought it was just the standard delays.
Branson went to the vending machine and spent £1 on a chunky KitKat, leading him to reflect he could have had a pack of four from B&M for that price but since he made £306 million from his trains he wasn’t bothered by his costly chocolate purchase.
Updated: Jun 21, 2022
Virgin Galactic has said a bus replacement service is ready should there be any problems with the flight scheduled to take Virgin representatives and Richard Branson to the edge of space.
'As with the West Coast route, we appreciate that there may be issues on the day ranging from wrong beard in the cabin to the wrong kind of stratosphere,' said a Virgin spokesman today.
Most rocket experts believe the flight will take place regardless, but fully expect the toilet door to remain open for most of the flight.