Warren Buffett puts his fortune in Greggs

Warren Buffett, known as the Sage of Omaha for reasons probably only known to Americans who know where Omaha is (estimated at < 10%), has liquidated his fortune in US banks and invested in UK firm Greggs. This has pushed up the share price up from £17 a share to £3 quadrillion a share.  Buffett is known to be partial to a Greggs pasty, and was sold on the vegan sausage roll, which he said reminded him so much of President Trump but didn't explain why.

Greggs said the investment will allow them to increase their market presence, currently running at three Greggs per high street, to a Greggs every other store in England and Wales.  As they haven't perfected the deep-fried vegan Jock Pie, they will delay their move into Scotland until Bill Gates throws his weight behind them.

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Russian stock market surges seeing more chicken taco

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Stock Markets agree to trade when Trump is sleeping

With tariff impositions and exemptions being imposed willy-nilly and almost on a whim by the President of the USA, stock markets are now operating in a constant state of flux and confusion.

In an attempt to counter this, and bring back the particular form of stability that benefits the leading trading houses, a proposal has been made to restrict trading to those hours when President Trump is asleep, and thus less likely to make significant and wide-reaching policy changes.

Whilst admitting this time-locked trading may be inconvenient for almost everyone, at least the 'right people' should again be exercising a modicum of control over the markets, and share prices will not be skidooshed every twenty minutes by the seemingly random pronouncements of the feckless orange incumbent of the White House.

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