Union claims that teachers are at the end of their tether is disputed

Travel to Mars delayed by astronauts' strike

The astronauts' union, Astronauts, Researchers & Space Engineers, is calling for a travel allowance, a ban on working nights, triple-time pay for working weekends and for all spacecraft to carry a guard. Many astronauts are also demanding the right to work from home.

'We have had to cancel next year's flight to Mars,' crackled the launch area's PA system, 'and delays to other services may be announced later. By the way, is that a suspicious package in your pocket?'

'This is the last straw!' said 60-year-old Ethel Brimstock as she set down her suitcase and sat wearily on it. 'It was tedious enough going through all the check-in procedures, and I really resented not being able to take a drink with me. But at least it makes a change from delays due to "leaves on the launch pad".

'There isn't even a replacement space-bus service going via the Saturn Ringsroad.'

Brexit caused shortage of strikers

The government has conceded that it's target of 32 million people on strike by the end of 2022 has been missed.

'Brexit has played a part,' admitted a government spokesman from his picket line. 'The government's target of getting the entire country on strike was always ambitious, but if anyone could do it, I think we can agree, this government could. We came close, but Brexit red-tape made it difficult to recruit public workers from overseas and it turns out that the best placards are made in France and it takes ages to import anything nowadays.'