The Conservative Party’s faux outrage machine may overheat following Labour’s decision to hire Sue Gray and Boris Johnson’s decision to be guilty of all charges, but still maintain that he isn’t. Even though he is, as the Tories love law and order, but don’t think it applies to them.
A spokesperson for Sue Gray said ‘She’s so neutral, even her name is Gray. As a civil servant, she worked with the Conservative government of the day. She’s been exposed to so much cognitive dissonance, maybe joining Labour is a cry for psychological help.’
Tory intern Hootington-Hurst walloped the outrage machine with a spanner saying ‘To operate this machine you need to wear high quality PPE, not the kind of PPE that Matt Hancock would source. Much like Isabel Oakeshott, that is way too leaky.’
