A supermarket checkout cashier is way quicker at scanning items and throwing them towards you than you could ever hope to pack them, and there’s absolutely no point in trying to keep up, it has been confirmed to you today.
The news was revealed as you did your weekly shop at your local Morrisons. Even with the best preparation possible, where you were able to set out all your bags for life nice and neatly in the packing area whilst the cashier was counting some vouchers or something, you still found yourself floundering after the first courgette was fired your way at breakneck speed , followed by a 12 pack of Andrex, and then some pasta.
Whilst you made a derisory attempt to catch up by grabbing the family pack of Walkers crisps right out of her hand and deliberately asking if an assistant could go and find you some riper bananas as you picked up the wrong ones, you knew you were never really in with a shout, finishing up with around 50 items piled up next to you.
‘I never even got out of second gear to be honest’, sniffed Doris nonchalantly. 'And this isn't Aldi or anything, I'm not one of your Premier League speed scanners, its only sodding Morrisons', continued Doris. 'You should at least try and make it a bit of a contest'.Â
'And yes, I know you put a cheeky individual piece fennel in there so I’d have to look it up manually on the weighing system, along with a baguette where the bar code was a bit creased. Didn't matter. I win again. That's..let me check...93-nil to me in our contests over the last couple of years'Â
'Now that’s £86.40 please. Whenever you’re ready’.