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Teacher Jailed For Violating Student’s Right To Throw Gluesticks

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Veteran teacher Mr Smith was jailed for crimes against humanity after sanctioning a 15-year-old pupil for something that was literally, like, not even his fault.


The 42-year-old Spanish teacher flaunted his authoritarian tyranny by sending an innocent Year 9 student to isolation for drinking Boost in class.


“It’s my literal human right to drink. Like does he want me to die of thirst?” the traumatised student bravely recounts. “And then when I tried to defend myself, he told me to leave his classroom. What ever happened to freedom of speech?”


14-year-old Stella has also raised a formal complaint against the senior leader after he gave her a detention for flicking a glue stick at the back of his head. “He says he’s just following the rules. You know who else used that line? The Nazis.”


Mr Smith is soon to face trial at Guantanamo Bay.



Teachers found to have been inadvertently voting Tory


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Research into voting habits among different professions, has thrown up an interesting anomaly, in that teachers have been marking their ballot papers, rather than using them to elect their preferred candidate.


Teacher Jane Plain was shocked to learn that she had voted for decades against her best interests, by marking Tory as the wrong answer, and wondered why nobody had told her she could put a tick against the correct answer.


As part of proposed election reforms, teacher voters will have their ballot papers returned with marks out of 10 with any idiot who voted Tory or Reform, almost certainly getting a 0/10 mark and a “SEE ME!” comment added.


image from pixabay


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