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Despite mixed reviews, critics have praised the performance of actor Steve Vaughan, one saying that "his physicality perfectly captures Savile’s creepy decrepitude", helped by the "appallingly tacky" tracksuits and red-lensed glasses provided by costume designer Deborah Jenkins. They also admired the catchiness of the songs "Now then, now then", "Jingle jangle, jewellery jewellery" and "Come back to my dressing room after the show".


However, many also complained of the 'elephant in the room' the show glosses over - the fact that the 'much loved national treasure' turned out to be a massive pervert and serial abuser of women, children and even corpses.


'We did think about a more honest portrayal,' said producer Abe Greenbacks. 'It’s not like there’s no precedent for showing child abuse in a musical - they did it in "Tommy", after all.'


'But we just felt it limits the number of people who’d come to see the show, so I’d make less money," he concluded, before asking his PA to 'try and make that sound a bit less mercenary before you send it out.'


The show stands in a long line of sanitised accounts of appalling people, including "Bad" (about Michael Jackson), "Springtime for Hitler" and "Pol Pot on Ice".




This weekend, Jim Smith undertook the gruelling task of watching his youngest child perform in yet another sixth form musical that for some reason features spirited cockney urchins. She plays a spunky East End vagabond - again.


‘The second I see her bounding on stage, her ponytail pinned under a newsboy cap and her face streaked with brown eyeshadow, I know it’s going to be a long night,’ Jim says. ‘It wouldn’t bother me that much, but most of the musicals aren’t even set in Victorian London.’


Why an urchin? Jim’s daughter is, regrettably, a triple A: A cup, Alto and Androgenous. Predatory theatre directors already face the challenge of wrestling unenthusiastic sixteen-year-old boys into oversized suit jackets so they can mumble their way through the lead roles. With no boys to spare, the mantle of the juvenile rapscallion falls on female shoulders.


‘If I have to see that tattered brown jacket again I’ll scream,’ Smith’s wife says, wringing the photocopied playbill between her hands. ‘I swear every role she plays is the same: it’s all “spare a penny” this and “pick a pocket,” that. I actually feel relief when she dies at the end.’




Brian Blessed has announced he will take on Gareth Southgate at the National Theatre next season. Theatre audiences are bracing themselves for high drama, pathos, and non-life-threatening injuries.


Playwright Jameson Grimham said: ‘Dear England highlights the way Southgate changed our notions of masculinity. I’m interested in how Brian’s acting style contrasts with Gareth’s approach to team management. In one scene, Brian grabs him by the goolies and throws him into the audience while shouting - damn and blast thee to hell thou rapscallion!’


Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson have agreed to play Rebekah Vardy and Coleen Rooney.



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