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Embracing the 'womble' tag that has often been used to describe his appearance, UK Prime-Minister-for-now Boris Johnson has assembled anv entire government from the politicians that "ordinary folks left behind".


Last seen rummaging in a Westminster skip looking for an Education Secretary, Johnson promised to cut political waste with his Real Junk Minister project.


Representatives of the UK's food waste charities have sought to distance themselves from the PM's initiative, saying: " We take food that supermarkets would throw away to make tasty and healthy meals that area affordable for all. Whereas this bunch of chancers just makes the public sick."


However, today's No. 10 spokesperson reassured reporters that these ministers were not for human consumption, but were simply destined to be Big Dog food.


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First published 8 Jul 2022


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'We got the idea from "Have I Got News For You?" ' said a spokesman. 'When Angus Deayton had to leave because of the, erm, cocaine allegations, they brought in guest presenters. We’ve been doing the same with our Prime Ministers.'


The Conservative Party’s plan is to allow the children of wealthy donors to each do a week as "Intern PM" .


'Oh, they’d run the country, much as Liz is doing now,' said the spokesman. 'It will look good on their CVs and the chances are the pound might rally a bit.'


Keir Starmer described the idea as ‘interesting’ and asked if there would be an age limit.



First published 9 Oct 2022


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