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Following a painstaking investigation by BBC’s Panorama programme, convicted murderer The Rev Green, is to be released from prison after what’s being called a gross miscarriage of justice during the now infamous Cluedo Mansion murder case in 2016.


Green was sent down for a full life term without remission, following Mum’s revelation that it was he who committed the grizzly murder using a length of lead-piping in the mansion’s stately ballroom.


However, that conviction is now being called unsafe after new evidence emerged during the investigation accusing Mum of frequently cheating at all family board games.


Daughter, Tamsin, confirmed Mum had once stashed an extra £500 note from a second Monopoly set, in order to settle a crippling fine that would otherwise have seen her crash out of the game, after she landed on Mayfair which belonged to Toby who had two hotels on it.


Speaking to Panorama Dad said: ‘I’m gutted by this. You think you know someone and that they can be trusted… then they go and do something like this. Sickening! It’s impossible to convict Rev Green now, as we only have Mum’s word for it that the incriminating evidence was actually even in the envelope at that time.’


Nevertheless, Mum was putting on a brave face. They can go ahead and broadcast whatever they have but I’m not worried. I can’t imagine either Police or the CPS being remotely interested in what is clearly nothing more than just a silly trivial pursuit.













Lionel Blair was responsible for the British decision in 2003 to invade Iraq, his younger brother Tony has announced. ‘I realise it was the most difficult decision my big brother had to make, apart from turning down a role in It ain’t Half Hot Mum’, the former Prime Minister confided.


‘Lionel and George (Bush) had formed a close relationship based on a shared interest in tap and jazz dancing and genocide,’ the New Labour veteran told a press conference. ‘I was busy working with George Brown on fiscal policy and with Una Stubbs on Give us a Clue at a difficult time when I didn’t have a clue at all.


Then Lionel came back from Washington having made the deal with George. I knew nothing about it till then. I remember it because it was the same night Una taught me how to do Three Men in a Boat with two hands, and just as I sat back exhausted the missiles landing in Baghdad came on the TV and Lionel shouted, ‘Ooh fireworks!’ which I thought was in bad taste.







The government has answered accusations that it intended to do away with the MP standards system entirely, by outlining proposals for a new Pay-As-You-Go system designed to "streamline" the processing of MPs caught selling themselves to the highest bidder, or "going about their right honourable business" in the words of the proposals.


"The old system was simply dreadful" said government spokesperson Quentin Smythe, MP for Hemel Hempstead and Glaxo SmithKline. "A boring old committee just called witnesses, pored over the evidence, and made a decision. I mean honestly. Slow, inconvenient, and no chance to cross-question witnesses to find out whether their parents went to school with mine, or if they prefer brown envelopes or an online transfer to a Cayman Islands bank account. Dysfunctional, as you trendy PC types would say."


"So going forward we are going to have a modern, transparent system where there is a simple, published scale of commission percentages, that you'll be expected to pay towards the Palace of Westminster Xmas Party Fund, out of any chance donations from the business community that might happen to land in your pockets. 2% for the small fry under 50k, 1% for anything above that, and donate your air miles to the Xmas Party Venue Research Subcommittee - climate change be damned. Happy now?"






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