With the threat of rising sea levels and further coastal erosion, the map of the UK could look significantly different in twenty years’ time. A fact that has not escaped the attention of Peterborough resident, Keith Otley who is already taking steps to ensure he doesn’t miss out on the windfall when his home city becomes a seaside resort, despite the fact it is currently some 37 miles from the coast.
“It will happen”, he said confidently, as he painted his garden shed in blue and white stripes. “Forget COP26 and all that nonsense. Promises about as reliable as a Cairngorms snow pile. The sea is coming to Peterborough and I’m putting my beach towels down now.” Mr Otley has already invested in a fat fryer so his wife can perfect battered cod, or whatever plastic substitute will be left in the sea, and bought a donkey for the kiddies.
Asked what would happen if the incoming waters continued on through Peterborough, he pointed to a submarine in his back garden. “Unwanted French job. Got it cheap on Ebay. If this new venture goes under then I guess we’ll have to.”
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