top of page


After intense investigation by a team of miracle enthusiasts from The Vatican, a Peach Melba dessert has been declared more holy than the Turin Shroud.


Last Wednesday teatime, a vicar's daughter from Berkshire was fresh in from a naughty skip through a wheat field. Unaware of what she had been up to or where she had been, her dear mama had prepared her a sweet dish for being such a good girl.


When presented with the off-trend pudding popular in the 1980s, it was noted that there was a striking resemblance to the posterior of the Virgin Mary. 'I didn't stop to consider how or why, and called The Vatican immediately on the emergency Popeline,' said mother June Belfry. 'They were around in minutes.'


Following exhaustive tests and a flick through the records of Biblical Buttocks, the Peach Melba was cordoned off with velvet rope and declared the most holy of artefacts. 'Who would have believed it?' said head miracle worker Micky de Angelo. 'A virgin in Berkshire.'


A further side-miracle is currently being investigated as at no point was the phrase 'get to the bottom of this' mentioned.


image from pixabay




Observers say that they are "disappointed" after the UK economy nosed-dived after the much anticipated relaunch failed to gain enough height.

The pilot, Captain Sunak, made a safe take off of the PM 3 Dumbo. He then released the Hunt engineered Econ-bomb vehicle. All was thought to be going well. However, failure followed as the second stage failed. Pundits believe that the "anomaly" was caused by a lack of maths skills coupled with the failure of the 5-point booster which failed to move the craft into the anticipated orbit.

It has emerged that the take off nearly didn't take place at all as they had invited a Mr Kwarteng to make the countdown:

10, 9, 3, 6, 5, 2, 8, 1 Zero.

bottom of page