Following the debacle in Alaska and the love-in in Washington the political elders agree it's time Putin (or whichever stand-in is available) and Zelenskyy should face each other across a table. Putin suggested Moscow, which Zelenskyy declined. A counter proposal to use a neutral venue such as the Hague has received a tepid reaction from the Russian leader.
'President Putin doesn't want to hang out in the Hague,' said a Russian spokesman. 'Fake noose,' he added.
After peace talks in Yankeeland failed to interest the US President in stopping the war in Ukraine, a new initiative in offering Putin a 500” TV that he can do Zoom call on from his absurdly long desk to offer as an incentive to pull out of Ukraine is hoped might provide the diplomatic solution needed.
A second 1,000” TV to be given to Trump, has also been requested, so he can fall asleep watching golf, with reporters whispering even more quietly at crucial moments, so they don’t wake him up, is expected to help in restoring normality to the world economy.
Channel 4 has pitched a new reality TV show based on the Alaska summit where President Putin humiliated the entire United States in minutes.
'The summit was a great idea,' said a Channel 4 spokesman today, 'but using a tired, washed out former reality presenter to host the show ruined it.
'Our pitch is to repeat the summit but this time to complete the process and exchange whole countries. For example, with Vladimir hosting the show he could swap, say, Ukraine for, I don't know, the Isle of Wight. The Isle of Wight would, obviously, be controlled by Russia because, well that's what Vlad suggested,' he added.
