Britain needs more Keir Starmer, not less

Addressing the nation the beleaguered PM insisted that he was popular, we just haven't got to know him yet. His failures help to challenge us in a healthy and necessary way. Friendship, after all, cannot flourish unless one party bravely endures the other without encouragement. One day we will thank him for staying.

The seismic collapse of the Labour vote is proof positive that his vision is working. His spokeswoman explained, 'Voters have a wonderfully strong reaction to Sir Keir, we just need to make it a positive one.' There are signs that he is winning people over…certainly their tight smiles and evasive body language show they have learnt a great deal—probably about resilience.

'If you think you hate him now, wait until you get to know him.'

Image credit: NB archive

Polanski used hypnotism to increase the size of his vote

.

European Sport Contest to be launched

A new European sports competition has been conceived and could start soon. The idea has been tested for years and the name for the new concept has already been registered.

'The name European Sport Contest was chosen after careful consideration,’ says Mr. Daniel Davidson, chief engineer and financier of the idea.

'I don't deny that the Eurovision Song Contest, in its name, had an influence on the naming decision,’ Davidson clarifies.

According to Davidson, the song contest can be thanked for the new sporting event, as the basic idea of ​​both is that the name does not have to correspond to the content.

Davidson, a failed singer and a poorly accomplished athlete, has already designed the basic framework for the European Sport Contest. According to the plan, athletic performance is not important, but athletes and teams should dress in eye-catching outfits and draw attention to the spectacularity of their performance. For example, a pole vaulter gets the most points if, after crossing the bar, he continues to fly like a bird over the stadium.

'Let me clarify the basic idea. For example, in the pole vault, the highest clearance, or result, is not important. Voters and political juries in different countries decide who wins. Their vote is decisive, not the sporting performance.

image from google gemini

author: Emerick Meriwether