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Fly from Cardiff – get £23 off

The Welsh Government is keen to support Cardiff Airport, as it’s very important to have a proper Welsh airport to use. God forbid that proper Welsh people would use the airports at Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham or Bristol. You can’t get to any of those airports without treading on foreign soil.


The Welsh Government has therefore given subsidies of £206m to the airport (which it owns) over the next ten years.


After some debate about how best to use the subsidies, the airport has decided that it will just give every passenger £23 in cash. Travellers will also have the option to take the subsidy in giant Toblerone bars, or, in a concession to Plaid Cymru, Welsh cakes. Passengers are warned that they may not be able to take £23 worth of Welsh cakes on board a plane as hand luggage.


The airport has defended its decision by saying that cold hard cash is the best way to build the customer base. On current passenger numbers, the £23 cash bonus will last for the full ten years. If the number of travellers rises, then the cash bonus might end earlier – but this will, of course, show that the whole scheme has been a brilliant success.


Swansea Airport has complained, and says that if it had the money, it could offer a subsidy of £137 per passenger. It reckons that this would grow passenger numbers much more quickly. Their spokesman also said that Swansea is properly Welsh, unlike all those softies in Cardiff who can’t even speak the language properly.



Farage Says Reform Will Make Wales Win Grand Slam

During a visit to Wales, part-time gin-salesman, GB News Host, and MP Nigel Farage told supporters if Reform UK took control of the Senedd in next year's elections he would see Wales "prosper and grow" by having them once again win a Grand Slam at the Six Nations.


When challenged, he admitted this was an "ambition" and would require support from other governments; in particular those from New Zealand and South Africa. He added that while his party was against uncontrolled migration, desperate times - such as the worst performance by a Welsh team since the creation of the competition - called for desperate measures.


His political rivals said this was yet another case of his party offering empty promises to the people of Wales that were impossible to deliver, including reopening the coal mines, building a new blast furnace at Port Talbot, and getting the new James Bond song performed by Tom Jones.



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