BBC and Met Office kiss and make up

After eight years of 'will they, won't they', 'on-off' drama, typical of a national weather forecaster, the fractured relationship between the Met Office and the BBC has apparently been healed.

'The Met Office was too woke and apparently voted Remain,' said a BBC spokesman. 'But now they have turned their back on DEI, pronouns and weather reports that aren't newsworthy we've decided to kiss and make up,' he added.

A Met Office Spokesperson appeared to have a different view of the monumental reunion. 'We felt the BBC was presenting a warm front, was handling high pressure well and we understood they regretted voting to Leave,' he/she said. 'We have agreed to sex the weather report up a bit, but only if they return our Velcro weather symbols to front and centre of the weather report,' the spokesperson said, tightening his/her tie while straightening his/her skirt. 'At least cardboard weather symbols are gender neutral, unlike that macho AI inspired CGI rubbish,' he/she added.

'And apparently, tonight, for the first time, just about half past ten, for the first time in history it's gonna start raining cis gender males.'

There are rumours that the relationship might be more off than on. Cardboard Velcro-backed dark clouds might be gathering.

Image: Abid Shah (@abid_ahmad_shah) | Unsplash Photo Community

Try to stay cool this weekend

US Weather Service advises looking out the window

The US Weather Service has taken some stick for failing to warn Texas residents about the risk of flash floods.

However, despite some serious Doge-inflicted staffing cuts, the Weather Service is still gamely trying to do its job. They have issued the following advice:

• The best predictor of tomorrow’s weather is today’s weather. Fact.

  
  

• If you hang up seaweed outside your house and it gets washed away, then worry.

  
  

• Mackerel sky, twenty four hours dry.  Mackerel on the carpet, time to evacuate.

  
  

• Take extra care if you live somewhere known as Flash Flood Alley

  
  

• Don’t believe everything you see on social media. Sometimes looking out the window is better.

  
  

• When dew is on the grass, rain will never come to pass.  When dew is on the carpet, get out the house before you cark it.

  
  

• When the wind is in the East, check your insurance hasn’t ceased.

  
  

• You’re never going to get rid of the smell of damp carpet.

  
  

• In an emergency, get out fast, despite your urge to stay and film it all for TikTok

And

• Why not subscribe to our privately funded weather service?

Image: Tho-Ge - Pixabay

www.newsbiscuit.com