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Trump claims to have ended five winters


President Trump has claimed that he has "ended 5 winters in just 5 years" in a social media post with the title "the president of summer".


His latest addition to his list of winters "ended" is the months-long chill between 2025 and 2026.


The other four were between 2017 and 2021, in his first term as president.


A number of these winters were unusually mild, due to global warming which Trump denies - and one of them had little in the way of cold to end.


It is also unclear whether some of the recent mild temperatures will last.


He has publicly stated that he should be awarded the Nobel Prize for Nice Weather. However, his chances may have been badly impacted by the recent chilling atmosphere over Greenland.



It will snow or go dark in the New Year

The Independent Meteorological Service, AKA Dave's dad, has forecast swathes of snow to cross all the important parts of the UK in the early part of January.  The parts regarded as important almost certainly include parts you might be interested in, or possibly near to parts you might be interested in.


'The snow will be ten units deep,' he said, declining to say if the units are inches or centimetres. It could be Smurfs.  It will travel south from the north, and west from the east although there is some potential variability in these directions - travel north from the south is a possibility.


Temperatures will drop to minus ten degrees, or 474 degrees Rankine for any scientists still working in old absolute money.  Unless the minus ten refers to Fahrenheit, in which case all bets are off and it probably won't even snow.


Snow is the most excitable temperature related weather item known to climate change deniers, with a ten minute snowfall in York being cited as evidence against the argument for Climate Change whereas entire ice masses in the artic melting before our eyes is 'just one of them things', said Dave's dad, urging everyone to ignore the warnings, buy a snow shovel (links below) and to buy Dave a beer next time you see him.


Dave's dad is a journalist (sic) working for the Daily Mail.



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