Drought hit areas to receive extra Bank Holiday

Areas around the UK that have been hit by exceptional drought conditions are to receive an extra Bank Holiday in an effort to boost rainfall and top up reservoirs and aquifers, confirmed the Environment Agency.

Some parts of Wales and the South of England have recorded the lowest average rainfall since records began, and only ever get torrential rain on days that fall within a Bank Holiday weekend.

An EA representative said, 'The UK has had the driest winter and spring on record, and this is directly linked to an absence of Bank Holidays. Providing hard-working families with an extra Bank Holidays is the only way to guarantee the UK will get a thorough soaking. That and the school summer holidays, of course.'

'We think rain clouds and high winds can somehow detect the onset of a Bank Holiday weekend and have evolved to store millions of litres of rainwater in specially created cloud formations, ready to hammer down as soon as traffic builds up on the M5 south of Gloucester.

A spokesperson for the Canal and Rivers Trust said that many UK waterways were in danger of running dry, but the Bank Holiday weekend had arrived just in time to spare them.

'If it wasn’t for Bank Holiday weekends, UK rivers and canals would be in serious trouble of running dry, fish stocks would plummet and sales of jigsaws and board games would plummet. But, as Benjamin Franklin famously said, only three things in life are certain…death, taxes and torrential f**king rain on a British Bank Holiday weekend.

'Adding a few extra Bank Holiday weekends to the calendar is the most obvious way of topping up our reservoirs and waterways. It should have been done years ago.'

Picture credit: Wix AI