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Christmas Appeal


Could you help someone disadvantaged this Christmas? Your kindness could make a real difference.


Many MPs can't get by on their salaries and expenses alone. Freebie suits and dresses and spectacles are hard to come by these days. And the long term prospects for many MPs look grim. Have you seen the opinion polls?


Many MPs can't go back to their wives this Christmas, because of their challenging behaviour. Others can't use their second homes as they are being staked out by the paparazzi.


We are looking for people who could adopt an MP this Christmas. These people are often damaged, find it difficult to trust anyone, and have a creative relationship with the truth. They are anxious about political extremists on the left and the right, and are often paranoid or attention seeking, but feel powerless to help themselves. (Obviously, this doesn't stop them from helping themselves.)


Feeding an MP will ensure that they finally get a balanced diet and some vitamins. Caring for an MP could keep them off booze, fags and street drugs. Medical help could address their phobias, syndromes, STDs and incontinence . And a secure environment could protect them from internet trolls, social media, opposition MPs and their own party whips.


We must act now to protect democracy. You can help by adopting an MP. Please help. Send as much money as you can to Freepost Help an MP Christmas Fund, The Glass Large Jar By The Cigars, Stranger's Bar, House of Commons SW1.


Thank you.


image from google gemini

Sunak removes whip from Enoch Powell



The prime-minister has defended his timing after removing the Conservative whip from Enoch Powell on the fiftieth anniversary of Powell leaving the party of his own accord and over twenty years since he died.


"It is important to give people a chance to make amends" said Mr Sunak. "But having given Mr Powell 50 years to change his opinion on the naming of the Commonwealth, its right that he understands he cannot cross the leadership."


It's understood that the Conservative Party had planned to use Mystic Meg to contact Mr Powell to deliver the damning verdict, but after Mystic Meg's death, she's become even more mystical so the minister for Fairy dust and Unicorns is being moved from his Brexit duties to contacting the dead.




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