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Zelensky demands own spin-off series



Ukraine's leader is touring Europe, trying to pitch an idea for a script he has, called 'He lived happily ever after'. Unfortunately contractual obligations means he may have stay with the TV franchise - 'War, the grift that keeps going'.


Meanwhile, Vladimir Putin was upset to learn he would not be joining the new show. His agent explained: 'My client is to be written out in mysterious circumstances - probably in Salisbury. The studio was unable to meet his demands of his own masseuse and all of Crimea.'


Zelensky is said to be frustrated that as the break-out star of 'War', he will not be allowed to literally break out. Said one Producer of the military industrial complex: 'Oh, we have plans for War to run and run. And if you think 'Lost' had a sh$t ending...'



image from pixabay



Zelensky delighted about UK local election results


President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has commended the BBC and other news outlets for their balanced coverage of the UK local elections. 'I'm glad the Russian invasion didn't interfere with the robust reporting of how many dogs were taken to the polls, who lost overall control of a local authority even the locals didn't know existed and how failed 80s pop stars can't even win a popular vote.


'I did ask President Putin to avoid doing anything controversial while the elections were on in case it diverted the attention from Wandsworth, Hull and Bridgend. As it happened he dropped a thermonuclear bomb on Kyiv and I personally assassinated Putin while everyone in Russia was following the local elections.'



Image from Pixabay by mounsey


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