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All of Birmingham and Tower Hamlets awful, residents confirm

Residents of Tower Hamlets in east London and Sparkhill in Birmingham have reacted angrily to comments by MP Paul Scully that these places contain "no go areas" due to their large Muslim populations.

"As anyone who's been to Tower Hamlets can confirm, the whole place is a no go area," said one resident, "and for reasons nothing to do with religion.

"Take Brick Lane. Every bloody curry house has a sign saying it was voted the best in some survey or other. And they all serve watery, tasteless slop.

"Of course, none of this puts off the hipsters who love the area with its "fixie" bike shops and "artisanal" coffee shops charging £10 for a flat white - another reason it's a no go area for everyone else."

"As for Sparkhill," added a resident of that area, "if every prison in Britain released all its paedophiles and sent them to live here, their grubby hands permanently down their stained tracksuit bottoms, it would probably count as gentrification."

Meanwhile, a resident of Liverpool complained that no part of his city had been designated a no go area.

"All you southerners think 'never walk alone' is a football slogan, but in Liverpool it's just good advice."

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