Despite the UK basking in balmy temperatures over Easter, a report has found the British seaside holiday is still completely shite.
The report concludes: ‘During Britain's annual two sunny days, media sources will often boast of temperatures “hotter and Marbella", as some kind of jingoistic justification Brits should eschew foreign destinations and opt for taking holidays at traditional seaside resorts. They are misguided.’
‘Imagine a pretty little beachside bistro in Portofino. Glamorous, sophisticated couples sit at tables eating lovingly created fish and pasta dishes while sipping delicious chilled local wines.’
‘A comparable experience in Skegness is more likely a fish and chip takeaway located on a traffic-clogged road, where one must jostle one’s way through hordes of brawling skinheads, singing football chants and throwing beer bottles at rival supporters.'
Nevertheless, feisty Gina Plopp, landlady of The Seaview B&B in Skegness (en suite rooms - tea & coffee making facilities), has hit back. ‘That report's nonsense. Britain’s seaside is the best place in the world for a holiday. There's donkey rides, candy floss, Punch and Judy for the kiddies and when it’s wet we got all-day Bingo.’