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  • Writer's pictureNickB

Back teeth fed up with being fed up to

Molars and premolars have lashed out with frustration at being labelled the metaphorical high watermark of frustration.

‘When we are in use crushing your difficult-to-chew food into convenient boli so you can swallow it, then you don’t give us a thought,' said an amalgum filled tooth from a Bournemouth mouth. 'But you’re all to ready to reach for us when you want to express impatience with climate change, inconsistencies in Midsomer Murders and that woman in the chiropodist's waiting room.'

The molar went on to moan about front teeth. ‘These are identified with cutesy six year olds at Christmas, John Bishop or the fucking Goofey joke. All very fine but useless without us sturdy backroom boys who do all the heavy lifting and barely see any floss. To tell you the truth I’m fed up to the back….Oh bollocks I'm doing it now.’

We approached bollocks for a response to being the go-to gonads for expression of vehement disagreement but they declined to comment.

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