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Band Aid torn between Ebola and Duck Flu

While parts of Africa are ravaged by disease, many music experts think there is more marketing potential in tackling the plight of the ducks of East Yorkshire. To this end Band Aid 30 have to decide between saving a continent filled with humans or by preventing 6,000 birds being culled; should we feed the world or feed the birds, tuppence a bag?

While 500 million Christian Africans are helpfully informed by Band Aid that it is Christmas Time, a spokesman for Rural Affairs (Defra) explained the need to educate ducks: ‘Ducks have no idea about Santa Claus. This song can really raise public awareness of their Ducky ignorance. Turkeys on the other hand. They’re fine. They’re very aware that it’s Christmas time’.

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