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Battle of the sexes to be decided by burping for a full hour

Women’s groups have complained that this gives men an unfair advantage, but men insisted: ‘These are gender neutral events, which just happen to include spitting, trapping spiders and weeing standing up.

‘We think it’s perfectly fair to ask both groups to recite the whole of Star Wars. Yes, we could have had an exam or something but how would that show who was the best at deftly opening a jar of pickled eggs?’

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