Blair threatens to save us
Britain’s favourite war criminal is contemplating a return to frontline politics, which is ironic given his propensity for sending other’s people’s children off to be killed on ‘actual’ frontlines. Mr. Blair has confided that he has unfinished business in terms of deregulating the financial sector, privatising the NHS and making the UK feel really bad about itself. Friends say he has already drawn up plans to re-gain the centre-ground and drawn up evidence of WMD caches - ‘just in case’.
In another completely unconnected story, Blair welcomed the timing of Theresa May’s intention to protect human-rights abusers from prosecution. One voter commented: ‘With all the problems of the world over the last few years, who hasn’t said – what we need here is a Tony Blair. How else are we going to make Donald Trump look ethical?’
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Five go Dobbing in the Neighbours