Boris Johnson has confirmed that the Freedom Bus Pass in London will be used to solve the housing crisis in Britain overnight.
'Introduced by me when I was London Mayor, along with gold-paved streets and £350 million a week rebates from the EU, the Freedom Bus Pass has already provided millions of over-60s in London with a warm and comfortable way to pass their remaining years', trumpeted Johnson. 'This has allowed people like Elsie, who I had the pleasure of hearing about this morning, to avoid the indignity and embarrassment of freezing to death in their own homes due to huge energy price hikes which I won't do anything about.
'But now, I'm going a step further. All those that have been priced out of being a homeowner in the London housing market will now be entitled to a Freedom Bus Pass too, allowing them to make that first important step onto the property ladder....or at least a step on to the Number 186 bus (off peak only).
'From tomorrow, millions will be able to make their housing dreams a reality, as they unpack their worldly possessions on a urine-stained bus back seat whilst their own personal driver takes them around their new 'clockwise North Circular' route...er, sorry, I mean home... before returning to depot for his statutory 20 minute rest break'
Johnson is expected to announce further details of significant investment in new housing stock - thought to include 35 Routemaster style double decker buses, along with a few of the longer single storey bendy buses for those who prefer bungalow style accommodation.
Johnson himself is expected to try out the new bus-homes himself, to try and hide from any further car-crash interviews.