Mail sent via chat software is now open to scrutiny, but also scorn, as you split infinitives in a manner that makes your boss’ skin crawl. Employees can be sacked for their misuse of time, but the official guidance on those using twee emoticons, they are to be taken out the back and beaten with baseball bats.
The European Court of Human Rights warned about the dangers of intercepting romantic correspondence: ‘Technically they’re doing personal things during business hours, but at least they’re only inflicting their syrupy prose and sickening imagery on their loved ones. And if you want to read something illegible, self-important and a waste of resources you should read some EU regulations’