Brexit backed by a magic eight-ball

With an unimpeachable track-record of endorsing the right option, the oracle has said that Brexit will be a success and people will pick 'New Coke' over regular. The ball commented: 'I’ve all the gut instinct of someone with irritable bowel syndrome. I have the unswerving self-belief of someone administering a frontal lobotomy. And like most Brexiteers I have a moral compass, or at least as a xenophobic SatNav.

‘I am confident Brexit will work and I’m the same genius that said hydrogen airships would become today's vehicle of choice.’