top of page

Children to be ‘tagged’ while ‘tagging’

In a serious upheaval of playground safety, G4S have won the contract to provide security for the UK’s parks. A spokesman confirmed: ‘It was felt that parents were too over-regulated and likely to forget the needs of shareholders. £1000 per child to play kiss chase or catch a ball is small price to pay for security. Once we’ve got the kiddies bagged and tagged, we’ll have them potty trained before you know it. But any misuse of the slides will result in a tasering’.


21 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Despite live-tweeting the killing of Osama, it turns out the CIA spent much of the 80s sending Afghan warlords $630 million in annual payments, in exchange for explicit images of Bin Laden provocative

Using its billionaire dollar empire, Facebook intends to purchase creative ownership of large portions of the English language and a significant portion of the air you breathe. A Facebook executive e

Disguised under the pretext of a kit launch, Britain’s athletes took time out of their busy schedule - of avoiding drug tests - to show off more bulging pectorals than a Zac Efron calendar. Oiled lik

bottom of page