Chipping Norton Massive to become proscribed organisation

The feared Chipping Norton Massive has been declared a proscribed organisation after ‘dancing aggressively’ in the general direction of JD Vance. In a separate incident, described by Government sources as ‘truly appalling’, the Vance party’s reservation at a posh pub in the Cotswolds was cancelled after staff refused to serve him because he’s a bell-end with a 23 car motorcade.

Several protestors – listed by the FBI as “Cotswolds’ Most Wanted” – waved placards containing ‘hurtful’ images of Vance as a balding fatty.

‘No public house should refuse service on grounds of bell-endery’, a Government spokesman said. ‘And hurtful images are a clear breach of, erm, the Terrorism Act. The UK and US share a Special Relationship and the Chipping Norton Massive appear to have forgotten which partner in this relationship uses the lube’.

We asked the Chipping Norton Massive for a statement but they were busy preparing for the Best Kept Village contest. 

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash