Clusters ‘good’ in cereal but ‘bad’ in CAT scans

The crossover between breakfast and medical examinations are getting confusing. Said one man: ‘Irresistible flakes sound like a nasty case of psoriasis. A nut cluster is just a troublesome prostate examination. While juicy raisins are glorified piles’.

In turn, doctors have been criticised for using unhelpful terms like 'bite-sized melanomas’ and 'chocolate--tee rectal probes’. One practitioner was even struck off by referring to a burns’ victim as 'a toasted oat, irresistibly golden'.

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