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CO-OP to offer £162m funerals

An executive explained: 'Your average OAP from the Windsor area, wants something a little more elaborate - a gold encrusted carriage, a 21 gun salute and a nice finger buffet, with plenty of cheese balls. That costs a tad more than our usual package, which involves a CO-OP carrier bag and a trip to the nearest landfill.'

One Monarch spoke of the peace of mind it gave them: 'For £10 a month I get to close down the entire nation. More importantly it means I don't have to dip into my own savings, as I'm down to my last thirty billion pounds.'

Plans are already in place for Prince Andrew's funeral. Said one citizen: 'We all chipped in and quite frankly, it can't come soon enough.'

image from pixabay

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