“Covid? Oh, yeah, whatever happened with that?” asks mainstream media

Updated: 6 days ago

By Our Health Correspondent, Ian Difference

MEDIA CENTRE, SALFORD – Newspaper editors nationwide felt a nagging sensation of having forgotten something important yesterday, as the realisation dawned on them that there is actually still a pandemic on.

With over 250,000 cases and 790 deaths from Covid-19 in the last week, the rampaging virus finally caught the attention of the right-wing press as well as the main television channels, albeit fleetingly.

“Coronavirus? I remember that thing. God, those were the days, eh? So glad it’s all over and done with now,” said the head of BBC news, looking up briefly from his crossword as a colleague mentioned the ghastly figures. “Any more stories about politicians doing karaoke?”

“Christ! Covid! I knew there was something we’d forgotten to report on for the last 100 days in a row,” cried the editor of the Daily Mail. “But, in fairness, Freedom Day announced the dawning of a new era: an era of journalists pretending the virus doesn’t exist.”