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Democracy? Meh

There is a growing suspicion that voters are either becoming more anarchic or simply don’t understand the questions. Referendum used to be a means of placating normally sheepish non-committal citizens, but now it has become a forum for every malcontent trying to bring about the end of days.

One MP questioned the electorate’s judgement: ‘Last year 30 Brits died by watering their Christmas tree – are these the sort of people who should be asked complex questions on international trade treaties? One third of accidental deaths in the UK happen in the home, yet I reckon two thirds of all fatally moronic acts happen in the polling booth’.

‘Allowing voters choice on important issues is like arming a toddler with a range of ballistic weapons – in all scenarios something is going to get the sh$t blown out of it.Admittedly sometimes the turkey will vote for Christmas but you don’t expect him to shove a bag of chestnuts up his colon and rub himself down in parsley flavoured body lotion.’

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