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Dinner parties to be targeted by pepper spray drones

This zero-tolerance approach to fine dining is seen as the next logical step in the fight against fundamentalist vegans and using one's bread for mopping up sauces. To this end ‘Skunk Drones’, disguised as ornithological pepper mills, will spray anyone seen to be ignoring dress codes, arriving late without a gift for the hostess or using the wrong soup spoon.

The army plans to use tear gas filled gravy boats, taser enabled cutlery and exploding trivets – all targeting illicit middle-class soirees. They have even threatened to combine the pepper drone with vinegar and olive oil drones to make a nice marinade.

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