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Dinosaurs to make comeback tour

Updated: Jun 21, 2022

After an absence from public life of over 60 million years, Stegosaurus and Brontosaurus could be roaming the country again soon for a limited period.

Celebrity publicist Ed Masp, who claims he has represented many extinct species in the past, promises the comeback will be spectacular, including such acts as ripping trees up by the roots and squashing a Ford Mondeo with a tap of the foot.

However, there are already serious health and safety concerns about letting gigantic reptiles run amok for entertainment purposes. Jeremy Pardloe of the Dinosaur Vigilance Society explains: "We are strongly urging insurance companies to refuse to cover this extravaganza. These are five-ton reptiles with brains weighing only three ounces, a brain to body mass ratio matched only by reality TV stars".

"In fact", adds Mr Pardloe, "the Mesozoic Era had an appalling record for health and safety, and dinosaurs must shoulder some of the blame. How do you think all the continents got ripped apart from each other?"

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