Download Festival Could Cause Air Raid Alerts

Leicestershire Police have warned that this weekend's Download Festival at Donnington Park could cause a great deal of extra work for the emergency services, as the volume of pyrotechnics used risks making locals believe the county is under aerial bombardment.

"It's always a busy time for us," said Chief Superintendent Alice Cooper, officer in charge of policing the popular heavy metal event. "We get a spike in calls from people's smartwatches sensing they've been in a collision when actually they've just been enthusiastically moshing to one of the bands. That also sets off seismic sensors, sometimes enough to alert authorities that an earthquake's taken place. Actually, the last time we had that was when Leicester City won the Premier League. The main concern is usually fireworks; like the year we had Iron Maiden play and had to reassure some of our older residents that it wasn't the Blitz starting up again. One said he'd been sleeping in the cupboard under the stairs for a week, but it turned out that was due to an argument with his wife."

Early arrivals to the festival site were greeted by police advising them how to enjoy the event safely. "It's all pretty sensible stuff," one reveller told us. "Wear sunscreen, drink water as well as absinthe, and absolutely no biting heads off any wildlife. It's a good job they gave us a leaflet though, I couldn't hear a word the officer said; maybe I need to think about the earplugs they recommend too."

Image: Pexels - Pixabay

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