Drop in piracy attributed to rise in ninja attacks

The long running internet debate over ‘who would win in a fight’ between swashbucklers and Japanese assassins has at last been resolved. While the relative ‘coolness’ of both combatants is an established fact, Ninjas have emerged as more deadly, mysterious and less likely to reek of haddock.


With sea-based piracy at a six-year low, it is clear that the nunchaku is far stealthier than a hook-handed maniac, shouting ‘Aha m’hearties!’ at every conceivable chance. Wearing an eye-patch is no way to dodge shuriken and no self-respecting ‘mutant turtle’ would opt for piracy.


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