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Ebola bookies favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

Following on from their success in ‘Congo’s Got Impaired Liver Function’, Ebola promises to be as virulent as ‘One Direction’ and cause more internal bleeding than Paul Potts’ last album. One TV Executive explained: ‘The pool of talent in the UK is ever-shrinking, whereas petri dishes in Guinea are overflowing with possibility’.

An official from Medecins Sans Frontieres warned: ‘Fruit bats, such as David Walliams, are natural hosts for the virus. At the sudden onset of vomiting and diarrhoea do not change channels, as this is a normal reaction to Simon Cowell’.

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