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Writer's pictureSir Lupus

Farage to be Reform candidate for every constituency


Following news that a YouTuber is standing for election in 11 separate London constituencies, the Reform party has branded him a 'millennial underachiever' and announced that party CEO Nigel Farage is personally standing for election in all 650 UK parliamentary constituencies.


The former commodities trader will also conduct 100% of the Reform Party's media engagements, write all their policies personally, and collect the majority of all donations to the party in line with his status as majority shareholder - whether those donations are made by credit card or in the form of coins thrown at him in the street.


Responding to accusations that Reform was a 'one man band', a spokesperson for Mr Farage, giving his name as Figel Narage, said 'Nonsense, we are a very diverse band in fact. We also have Richard and his friends as the backing financiers, Mr Farage as lead tub thumper, and a completely different person called Mr Garage on dog whistle.'


Image: Newsbiscuit

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