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Fascists: an apology

NewsBiscuit would like to apologise to all racists, xenophobes, far-right groups and those who bankroll them for describing them accurately.

We have listened to their sobs and now realise that calling a fascist a fascist is hurtful. Although they might hurl words like ‘snowflake’ around like, erm, snowflakes they are really very sensitive souls who have reached late middle age and realised that their lives haven’t turned out quite as imagined. This makes them vulnerable and we should all stop picking on them. Their disappointing career progression/house/wife probably is the fault of immigrants/the ECHR/Muslims/wokery – and nothing to do with being of moderate intelligence and work ethic in a flat economy.

We also understand that some far-right leaders might not be true believers, but innocent grifters trying to make an honest buck – well, a legal-ish buck – out of the simple faithful. Rather like a mediaeval bishop living in a palace paid for by peasants. To these people also we apologise. You may have riches on earth but if there is even the faintest glimmer of an afterlife you’re fucked. In all holes. Probably simultaneously.

If you’ve been affected by media criticism of far-right political organisations please don’t call our helpline. Instead, get a grip, stop buying that ridiculous ‘newspaper’ you clutch each morning on the way back from the shops and travel further than the end of your street. Oh, and check a calendar - World War 2 ended before you were born, you weren't there.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

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