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NewsBiscuit would like to apologise to all racists, xenophobes, far-right groups and those who bankroll them for describing them accurately.
We have listened to their sobs and now realise that calling a fascist a fascist is hurtful. Although they might hurl words like ‘snowflake’ around like, erm, snowflakes they are really very sensitive souls who have reached late middle age and realised that their lives haven’t turned out quite as imagined. This makes them vulnerable and we should all stop picking on them. Their disappointing career progression/house/wife probably is the fault of immigrants/the ECHR/Muslims/wokery – and nothing to do with being of moderate intelligence and work ethic in a flat economy.
We also understand that some far-right leaders might not be true believers, but innocent grifters trying to make an honest buck – well, a legal-ish buck – out of the simple faithful. Rather like a mediaeval bishop living in a palace paid for by peasants. To these people also we apologise. You may have riches on earth but if there is even the faintest glimmer of an afterlife you’re fucked. In all holes. Probably simultaneously.
If you’ve been affected by media criticism of far-right political organisations please don’t call our helpline. Instead, get a grip, stop buying that ridiculous ‘newspaper’ you clutch each morning on the way back from the shops and travel further than the end of your street. Oh, and check a calendar - World War 2 ended before you were born, you weren't there.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
A woman has sold a house for a profit, a mere 17 years after buying it. This 'event' has provoked horror from leading Conservatives and several right-wing newspapers, because the woman is Angela Rayner - definitely the 'fun one' on a shadow cabinet girls night out.
Professional frother-at-the-mouther Clementine Carruthers salivated 'No self respecting Tory MP would only make 48k over 17 years from a house. Phil and especially Kirsty would have a fit. At the very least a Conservative MP would have claimed Parliamentary expenses for the second of two entirely fictitious moats, then have his hedge fund quadruple mortgage the place, then sell it to a Russian oligarch for a massive profit, then immediately buy it back from a Russian oligarch at a suspiciously knockdown price, then keep the money from a VIP lane multi-million pound PPE contract that a house obviously couldn't fulfil, then register the house as a limited company in the Bahamas, then declare that company bankrupt, then quintuple the rent at zero notice, in order to evict the young family who can no longer afford to live there, on to the street. And the cause of the fire that burned it all down afterwards was never found.'
'Angela Rayner's behaviour - buying an ex-council house, living in the house, then selling it nearly 2 decades later - makes me physically sick. We just cannot tolerate this kind of social mobility. It will not do, to give the oiks hope, when it's our duty to crush their dreams and destroy their futures.'
'Anyway, women can't own property, can they? That's political correctness gone mad.'
Image: H031175 - Pixabay
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