As news broke, violence erupted, with effigies of Phillip Schofield being burnt. Viewing figures plummeted, with the toll set to be in the thousands. While footage showed whole districts in rubble, with no proper access to ITV1.
Israeli and Palestinian authorities were united in their condemnation of TV producers for letting such a shining beacon for peace be extinguished. Said one combatant: ‘Holly brought stability to the region, with girlish grin and vacuous expression. Jew, Muslim, Christian – none of us want Ben Shephard.’
Joint sovereignty over Holly has been in place since 2010, but in reality, access to her bubbly persona has been fiercely contested by her husband and Ant Mcpartlin. The UN has been unequivocal in its support for fans of Holly – mainly middle-aged men, going through a difficult divorce.
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