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Israel signs latest one-sided ceasefire with Lebanon


This is the best ceasefire deal we could get for our darling child, Israel,' said US Secretary of State Marco Rubiks-Cube, who had brokered the talks.


'The terms are exactly the same as in the last ceasefire agreement - Israel can carry on bombing who and what the hell it likes in Lebanon while no one can attack it.


'It has the same deal in Gaza, by the way, and the truce there has held very successfully for eight months now, with Israel launching attacks and killing people on a near daily basis.


'This is all part of Israel claiming its inalienable right to exist,' Rubiks-Cube continued, feeding Benjamin Netanyahu a choc drop, 'along with its inalienable right to bring total misery to everyone around it.'


At press time, the IDF was celebrating the prospect of the new ceasefire by launching yet another air strike on a village in Southern Lebanon, just for the hell of it.


Image: Newsbiscuit Archive

BBC still hasn't reported on BBC not reporting anything


Social media is on fire with allegations that the BBC hasn't reported anything about the crisis in Iran, despite running several separate news articles every day since the demonstrations started.  They are also accused of not reporting anything about the situation in Gaza, despite running articles daily since last year.



'We admit that some reporting is difficult,' said a BBC spokesman, adding, 'as both Iran and Israel won't allow correspondents in, and those that do sneak in tend to get shot', he said. 'I ran to tell you because is real.'



Critics grudgingly agree, but point out that the BBC hasn't announced the upcoming General Election, to be debated next week where the government, despite having a huge majority, is going to roll over and vote to pull the General Election forward by at least three years.  The BBC agree that they haven't reported that piece of news but defended themselves by pointing out that whenever the next election does occur they have told the country who to vote for. Repeatedly.


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